Dilemmas and Difficult Decisions

Over the last few weeks Nan has been considering what happens next. This has been a difficult decision for her to make. It's also been difficult for us as a family.

Some relationships feel as though they've become fractious as a result of having opposing opinions, and how those have been communicated between each other and most importantly with Nan.

I've felt like Nan and what she needs has not always been at the centre of the conversations and that she's been unfairly influenced. Having said that, I know that she is capable of considering the views of others and reaching her own conclusions. Last week, instead of returning home with support, she moved into a residential care home.

I think I've found her decision difficult to digest because I know that she could have received care at home. Somewhere she's always said she wants to be. But, I guess sometimes situations and people change.

A few months ago, a family member mentioned that they felt Nan should have some care at home, to help her with everyday tasks. She resisted, always maintaining that while she was able to look after herself, even if things did take her a lot longer than they used to, she would. Unfortunately, Nan has had to deal with a significant change in her mobility and therefore, her ability to look after herself, which has changed everything for her. I feel sad for her, that she's had to experience this loss. That she's had to reluctantly surrender her independence and her home, something that she's fought so hard to maintain.

I hope with time, the distance between us, as a family, closes and we can come back together as one. Because, at the end of the day, what matters most, is that Nan is happy, that she feels safe and is receiving the care and support she needs.

In the meantime, I'll continue to visit, as I've always done, offering to take her out for some coffee and cake.