Connections

Government policy talks about supporting carers to live a life alongside their caring roles. This is particularly important as carers are a fundamental component of the social care system, providing the majority of care to individuals with care and support needs (Hanson et al, 2008). There are many different reasons and circumstances that lead to people becoming carers, which are often accompanied by strong, and at times conflicting, emotions. It's recognised that whilst there are positive parts of being a carer, the role can also have a negative impact on a person's mental and physical wellbeing (Webb and Dening, 2016). Highlighting the importance of finding balance.

Balance can be difficult to find, especially when it involves two or more human beings who may have different thoughts and opinions, different expectations. This year, Carers Week has focussed on connections. Connections that carers can develop and build upon to strength their support system. Connections that may be within the family or wider community.

Over the last five years I've watched Mum negotiate her way through what it is to be a carer. I've realised that it's a continuous journey, one which is constantly changing as Grandad's condition progresses. My Sister and I help as much as we are able to, around working full time. We spend evenings, days and weekends with Grandad so that our parents can spend some quality time with each other and friends. It's not just helping my parents though, it's quality time with Grandad. We talk, he always asks about my day (even if it's five times in five minutes). We listen to music and sing along to songs we both know. We order a takeaway and watch a film.

We, as a family, also access support via an assessment carried out by the Local Authority. The Care Act 2014 introduced equal rights to assessment and support for both individuals with care and support needs and their carers. Meaning, that both the needs of a carer, as well as, the needs of the individual they care for can be considered alongside each other. The available options of support can then be considered together, again, trying to find balance.

Reaching the decision to relinquish Grandad's care, and to hand the responsibility of his welfare to someone else, outside of the family, even for a short while, was not something that felt easy or natural. But, my parents recognised that for them to look after Grandad, they needed to look after themselves. Over time, Grandad and Mum have built a relationship with the care provider and the carers within it, which has helped ease some of our anxiety. There will always be things that they will do differently to us, but he is happy to go and is happy when he returns home. 

Accessing support outside of the family, either paid or voluntary, not only  provides my parents with some time to do things they enjoy, it also gives Grandad the opportunity to see different faces and to interact with other people. 

Accessing support enhances everyone's quality of life and enables the caring relationship to continue. 

Ask for advice and support when you need it, don't struggle in silence. 

Carers Week: www.carersweek.org 

Carers UK: www.carersuk.org

Carers Trust: carers.org